Evil 1 and Evil 2

Do they seem cute and sweet?  All I see is pure evil.  I see baskets, glue, light bulbs, paint, crayons, markers, legos, hoses, laundry baskets, and all sorts of other yard and household things that have been eaten.  They've gotten in to the trash and generally speaking, caused me a great deal of stress, irritation, and anger.

This morning Evil 2 puked on my bed (which is something that also irritates me - being on my bed in the first place).  This happened at 5:35 AM just moments after The Bread Winner had left for work.  I got to get up and clean it up - so fun.  Then I tried to rest in bed but all I could do after that was think/stress/worry about who would take care of these 2 evil creatures while my family is gone for 2+ weeks to Australia.  Yes, Australia (more on this later).  I have a great deal of stress about who will watch these evil monsters while we are gone.  Seems like most people I know don't have a fenced yard (a requirement since they will both take off and cause trouble in the neighborhood if given half a chance).  Or they are allergic to dogs (really, who is allergic to dogs and not cats? lame).  Or they already have too many dogs.  Or they don't like dogs.  Or their house is too clean for dogs (I'm jealous of these people - the ones with clean houses and nice yards because they don't have dogs) Or who knows what the reason.  But I have NO IDEA who is going to take them.  Which leads me to evil thoughts myself like maybe it would be better to just have them put down.  Then I would never have to worry about these issues and the many others which involve them slowly consuming my house and the things in it.

So if anyone knows a guy who knows a guy who wants two dogs... I would be happy to give them my dogs.  Really, they would be free.  Just come and take them please.